Community is beautiful

I haven’t written on here in a while, because for a time, it seemed nothing worth writing about came to mind. Then, I began to feel overwhelmed at the idea of “catching up”. So I’m not going to catch up, at least not today. I’ll do that in a later post. For the moment, I’ll just write about right now.

The Backstory

     

4 months ago we welcomed the most beautiful, sweet girl in to our home. Alivia is a joy, and causes our home to be filled with more silly noises and made up songs than we know what to do with! Last month I returned to work. While I did not want to leave my precious girl, it had to be done in this season of life and we were blessed with loving caregivers for her.

     

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind as I have returned to work in the middle of a horrid winter wrought with nasty colds and other sicknesses in children and parents alike.  We have had several quick changes of plans as the kids (of her sitters, as well as Alivia herself) have gotten sick. In addition, one of her sitters has their home for sale and must make quick adjustments to allow for showings and meetings with realtors as is necessary to sell the home.  These somewhat frequent changes have been a bit stressful and felt a bit chaotic to me as I feel the pressure (from myself, not others – my boss has been very gracious and patient) to be back at work and do my job well.  On the other hand, each time plans have needed to be changed or arranged I get the urge to give up and simply “call in” so I can stay home with my girl, because, I really really like her. (I have not done this, but the urge has been there).

It was just last week that I sat with my community group girls and confessed my struggle to want to "have it all together", to not be stressed by these things, or better yet, for the adjustments to stop and allow everything to be smooth. They lovingly told me I could ask for help, and I stated I didn't want to always dump on my friends. While this is very true, I have also realized in the ensuing week that part of my struggle is I don't like to be needy, to feel like I'm falling apart. Funny, I think that's exactly where God wanted me to be. 

                                                            

Why I love my community

So yesterday, at around 4pm, one of Alivia’s loving caregivers called me to let me know that due to the chaos in her life while they  are selling their home, she is unable to care for  Alivia until after their home is sold. Their schedule has been crazy and it seems it was only going to get crazier during this process.  Unfortunately, and beyond anyone’s control, because of this pandemonium, she was going to have to stop watching her immediately, in order to care for her family and be able to help get their home sold. I completely understood.  However, as I got off the phone I felt completely stressed and overwhelmed once again at finding someone who could care for our daughter in the way I would want her cared for. I broke down.  On the way home from work, I called a young lady who had previously spoken with us about watching Alivia. I asked her, through tears, if she would consider stepping in to the situation and helping us during this time as one of Alivia’s babysitters.  Her loving, gracious response comforted my heart as she agreed to speak with her husband and her boss at work.  My next call was to my Mom. As I explained the situation and my stress to her, she calmly and patiently did what she does so well – she pointed me back to Christ. In a matter of moments she prayed for me, and  reminded me of God’s faithfulness in my life, of my need to trust Him, and that my daughter was His child, far before she was mine.  She gently pointed out that I needed to relinquish control, because He can care for her far better than I can, and that even in the mishaps of the previous weeks, He has provided.  I nodded to her words of comfort through the phone and was quickly aware that my desire to fix things so often means that I don’t pray and seek Him until I’ve already tried it my way.

     

I picked up Alivia from her babysitter, gave her a general overview of what had happened with the other girl so that she could be aware and then headed home. I decided not to send out a mass text to my community group girls until I had calmed and spent some time praying.  Shortly after arriving home, the babysitter we had just left called and let me know that if I needed her to step in during this week as I rearranged long term plans, she was available. I don’t know if she knew how much it comforted my heart.  I begin praying as I was caring for Alivia. A little while later, I felt like it was time to text the girls in my community group and ask them to pray with me. I didn't ask them to care for her, just to pray with me and for me (which might sound crazy since it was after 5pm at this point and I needed a caregiver for the next day).

     

Within moments of my sending out the text message, one of the girls in my community group messaged me, offering to provide care for Thursday of this week (the other day I needed covered).  Over the next hour or so another girl offered to care for her today, another still contacted babysitters she knew to see if they were available to help, then provided me with their information.  Others called or messaged to let me know they were praying, empathizing, and offered comforting words. Words that they had no clue were exactly what I needed to hear.  These amazing ladies rearranged their schedules in order to love on our family, dropped what they were doing to help find solutions, offered their time, and took me before the Father.  They encouraged, strengthened and blessed me in ways they may never fully understand. I was quickly reminded as I sat down with my husband last night how difficult it could have been, how stressed I might have been, and how completely faithful our Father is.  When I stopped trying to fix it, He worked out the details in a way that was far more perfect than anything I could have done if I had stayed up all night trying; and He graciously cared for my heart through these women at the same time.

   

I am still working out the details of how Alivia will be cared for long term, but for this week we are covered, and I will seek to rest in the arms of the Father, knowing his provision is far better than my own.